Comments for Science of Mom

Comment on Baby Meets World: A Conversation with the Author by Evelyn

Evelyn — Fri, 24 May 2013 02:21:01 +0000

Totally digging the great conversation over here, as usual. I love this banter back-and-forth between two really well educated and grounded parents. I come away thinking that I need to keep chipping away at that mom guilt. I feel like it tries to seep in all over, but I’m going a good job raising my kids, flaws and all.

Comment on SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective by ScienceofMom

ScienceofMom — Thu, 23 May 2013 21:02:41 +0000

Yes, I think this is a great compromise! And a company called Arms Reach makes them. We used one of these for the first few months, and it worked great. On the other hand, I’ve had many commenters on my blog say that they intended to use one of these but baby wanted/needed to be in closer contact, so I don’t think it works for all families. I also think that if you’re feeding baby in bed whether intending to return her to a cosleeper or a crib, you should be prepared for the fact that you might fall asleep while feeding and have your bed set up to be safe. https://www.armsreach.com/shop/co-sleeper_bassinets/the-original-co-sleeper-bassinet

Comment on SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective by ScienceofMom

ScienceofMom — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:59:36 +0000

Glad you found some solutions that worked for you and that you had support from your pediatrician in finding them. Even the best sleepers make for plenty of sleepless nights during the first year! I think it takes us some time to forget about those challenges before we feel ready to take them on again:)

Comment on SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective by ScienceofMom

ScienceofMom — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:57:29 +0000

Wow, you have some incredible stories! As Melissa said, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to sleep. How could there be when we have kids that are so different?!

Comment on SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective by sparky011001

sparky011001 — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:28:08 +0000

I’m wondering if a compromise could be reached? I’d love to see a small crib designed that could be placed next to your bed, that was at the same level, so you reach through and touch/comfort the baby whenever you needed to.

Comment on SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective by Comely Miss

Comely Miss — Thu, 23 May 2013 15:42:04 +0000

We found ourselves in the same predicament.
Sleep deprivation + cranky, contact craving, sleep deprived infant = bed sharing.
We too were adamantly against it, but knowing both of us had to return to work soon and therefore would find ourselves driving on the road and operating heavy equipment at work, we knew something had to change. We NEEDED sleep. We ended up co-sleeping for at least four straight months, then he went back in the bassinet with a few relapses into the bed. He transitioned to the crib pretty easy when we realized all we were doing was waking each other up in the same room despite all of our “if he sleeps in your bed he’s never leaving” naysayers of friends. We had a few days of sleep training around 9 months and while I boil it down to such simple terms, sleep was one of the biggest challenges and one of the deterrents that’s keeping us from planning another right now. Lol. Our pediatrician is pretty awesome and told us whatever worked for us provided we felt safe with it. I guess with 30+ years of practice under his belt he’s probably seen/heard a lot of similar stories.

Comment on SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective by Cindy Oleson Swartz

Cindy Oleson Swartz — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:59:36 +0000

I certainly empathize with the Melissa. My firstborn was a high anxiety baby and couldn’t be left alone at all. To complicate matters my back did not work after having him. I couldn’t walk on my own for about three weeks. So my hubby would get the baby at night from his crib close by and then he would be in our bed from 1:30 a.m. till my hubby’s alarm went off for work at about 5:00 a.m. As he got older he seemed to recognized that he was being moved at 5:00 a.m and started waking up and screaming loudly. As I couldn’t walk we had to keep him in bed with me till grandma got up around 8:00 a.m. He wasn’t a good sleeper for years and still occasionally has issues at 16. However, in retrospect I am glad we went with his flow because of his anxiety’s and other issues which were fully discovered by testing at about grade 5. I always slept on my back with my arm around the baby and a pillow between my husband and the baby. As a toddler he used to scare me almost to death because he would sleep in his own bed but insist on having all the blankets OVER HIS HEAD. We would check on him constantly and take the blankets off and in his sleep he pulled them back over his head. We took his blankets away and had him sleep in warmer pjs and keep the house warmer at night and he still would get out of the toddler bed and find something to put over his head – try managing that all night! And if we went out of town to the in-laws and drove back he would sleep all the way in the truck and then as soon as the truck stopped start screaming – nothing would comfort him he would scream till 6:00 a.m. Not being in bed with us not in his bassinet not his crib not in his carrier on the dryer nothing! Not walking him, not holding, rocking. Try that on for over a year! Needless to say we didn’t sleep much or go anywhere much.

The good news we survived and when he was five we had a little girl. She was better at sleeping till she was old enough to realize she was on the other side of the make shift wall in our 22 ft long loft bedroom and then she’d talk and babble to us all night and finally get mad scream at us and we would get up and get her and everyone could sleep. So I think every situation is different and you just have to realize that as a parent and work it out.

Comment on Sleep Deprivation: The Dark Side of Parenting by SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective | Science of Mom

SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective | Science of Mom — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:16:35 +0000

[…] bedshare because it is the only way that anyone gets any sleep at night, and we all know that sleep deprivation carries some risk, too, as does falling asleep on a couch with your baby. This is the […]

Comment on Book Talk: Sleep Choices by SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective | Science of Mom

SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective | Science of Mom — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:16:23 +0000

[…] been thinking about bedsharing and sleep safety for the last few months. I have devoted an entire chapter of my book to this topic. Not only is it an important question for parents, but it’s an issue with so […]

Comment on What Would the Kung Do? An Anthropological Perspective on Intensive Parenting by Marie

Marie — Thu, 23 May 2013 13:40:08 +0000

I’ve been thinking about this very thing so much lately as my husband and I make decisions (and run into criticisms) about our son’s care. It has occurred to me, and I’m glad to be affirmed by Day, that when we point to other cultures and historical societies as evidence of how and why to employ certain parenting practices, we fail to consider the whole picture. Do we try to emulate everything about those cultures? Aren’t we just being patronizing and reductive? This is not to say that we shouldn’t consider those practices, but that we should consider the broader context of them as well as our own context. Ultimately, our goal is to raise a person who will function happily and well in the world in which he lives, and, hopefully, make that world a happier place, too.