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SIDS and Bedsharing: A Pediatrician’s Perspective

I’ve been thinking about bedsharing and sleep safety for the last few months. I have devoted an entire chapter of my book to this topic. Not only is it an important question for parents, but it’s an issue with so much complexity — wrinkles and folds of factors like breastfeeding, bonding, instinct, culture, and just plain reality.

I think it is vitally important to understand the relationship between bedsharing behavior and risk of SIDS and accidental deaths. But our ability to tease apart every factor that might impact sleep safety is imperfect; there will always be factors that aren’t quantified in these studies, not to mention the fact that case control studies have some inherent limitations. You’ve probably heard about the study published this week by Carpenter et al. in BMJ. It combines 5 historic case control data sets from Europe, the U.K., and Australasia to specifically look at the risk of bedsharing in breastfed babies in nonsmoking households. It concludes that bedsharing poses an increased risk of SIDS, even in these ideal situations. I think it’s an important study, but it also has some limitations and doesn’t answer all of our questions with certainty. In fact, no study will probably ever do that. (You can read some critiques of the Carpenter study here and here.)

But even if we accept that bedsharing increases a baby’s risk of dying unexpectedly during sleep, we still have to answer the bigger question of how we translate this information to families living in the real, difficult world of infant sleep. Many families value bedsharing as a cultural practice; others choose it because it feels right. Still others bedshare because it is the only way that anyone gets any sleep at night, and we all know that sleep deprivation carries some risk, too, as does falling asleep on a couch with your baby. This is the reality.

Pediatricians face this reality in their clinics every day, when they talk with parents of new babies about sleep. In my book, one of the questions I explore is how pediatricians handle this conversation, given that their professional organization, the American Academy of Pediatrics, recommends against bedsharing. Several months ago, I sent some questions to one of my favorite pediatrician bloggers, Dr. Melissa Arca of Confessions of a Dr. Mom. She had initially agreed to a Q&A, but then she didn’t respond with her answers. It was the height of the busy flu season, and I figured that she was just busy. Then, this week, she surprised me with her responses. She had been thinking about bedsharing given the news of this recent study, and she was inspired to restart this conversation. We’ve cross-posted our Q&A on both our blogs. Check out her post for more about her initial hesitancy to address these questions, and please feel free to share your experiences in the comments below.

Alice: How did sleep look for your two children?

Melissa: My first child was a challenge to say the least. He is the one who made me question the safety of bed-sharing in the first place. For the first 6 months of his life, sleep was virtually non-existent (or at least that’s the way it felt to me) because he needed my arms and constant soothing throughout the night. But I was terrified to bedshare. I was literally at the end of my sleep deprivation rope. I had tried everything. And instead of listening to my instincts, I was fighting them. Because I was scared.

I never envisioned myself as a bedsharing parent. As a pediatrician, I was adamantly against it. But it was exactly what my baby needed and we struggled and limped along until I finally realized that.

My second child was a breeze and that’s no lie. She was always (and still is) an “easy sleeper”. She needed her space and showed clear signs of being tired. When she was tired, that was it. I didn’t need to bedshare with her. She slept in her own bassinet next to our bed during her first few months of life before being transitioned to her own room.

They could not have been more different in the sleep department. Same parents. Same environment. Different children.

Alice: As a pediatrician, how did you feel about bedsharing before having children? Did becoming a mother change that?

Melissa: I didn’t think it was safe. At all. I had read the studies and the official recommendations. Back to sleep, crib and/or bassinet in the same room with no hazards such as loose bedding, pillows, etc.

I never thought in a million years I would have become a bedsharing parent. But kids don’t have our same agendas. They don’t read the books or the studies. And when it comes to sleep…nothing could be more variable. The only constant is that we all need it.

Alice: You’ve written on your blog about your decision to finally bedshare with your first child. What kind of responses did your receive from other pediatricians and parents to your posts?

Melissa: Most reactions have been…yeah, I’ve been there. Or…I had a baby like that too. But, I’ve received some criticism too. Honestly, I think it happens to more families than are willing to admit it. It’s still taboo, particularly in the medical field. With good reason, for sure; but I think we need to talk about it. We need to address the issue. Not simply say…don’t do it, it’s not safe.

This is not a one size fits all situation. There are so many factors at play. So from a practical standpoint, we need to be willing to hear parents out and meet them where they are.

Alice: Do you believe that bedsharing can be safe if practiced with care?

Melissa: I think it can be made “safer”. I still believe that the AAP recommendations against it and safe sleeping tips such as back to sleep, sleeping in a separate crib or bassinet but in the same room as parents, and the guidelines for keeping loose bedding, etc out of baby’s crib is the safety gold standard.

BUT…there are thousands of families who choose to bedshare and are committed to it. They will continue to do so in spite of recommendations against it. As a pediatrician and first time mom, I found myself at this very crossroad. For me, bedsharing was born out of sheer need…and a nagging instinct that I had been fighting. Still, it took me 6 months to finally feel good about doing it.

For bedsharing families I think we have a responsibility to discuss safety issues with them. We need to advise them the safest way to do so. There are so many variables involved when it comes to bedsharing that makes studying it and having safe bedsharing guidelines difficult from a public health perspective. That alone makes it inherently risky.

But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. We absolutely should. Removing some of the added risks that can go along with bedsharing (such as heavy blankets, other children, exposure to second-hand smoke etc.) will reduce the risk of SIDS and accidental suffocation. So we should be having these discussions.

We know that bedsharing can look very different from one family to the next. It can be absolutely dangerous for one infant but relatively safe for another. One thing parents should know is that bedsharing cannot be an afterthought nor an act of desperation…this is very dangerous. Safe bedsharing is really an overhaul of the whole sleep environment. You cannot simply take your baby and put him/her in your bed without any preparation. So parents really have to be committed to it and be willing to take the proper safety precautions.

Alternatively, exhausted parents who are too frightened to bedshare may fall asleep holding their babies in their arms on couches, chairs, or in their beds. You can imagine how dangerous that can be for an infant. Before I embarked on bedsharing, I found myself in these very situations.

Alice: The AAP recommends against bedsharing in their policy statement on prevention of SIDS/suffocation deaths. Do you think this recommendation is appropriate? Do you share the AAP recommendation with the families in your practice?

Melissa: Yes and I do share these recommendations with my families. But I also ask them what sleep looks like in their house. How is everyone sleeping? Where do they sleep? Does anyone smoke? Where do they want baby to sleep and have they taken the proper precautions to make sure baby’s sleep environment is as safe as possible?

This allows for a more open, honest, and insightful discussion on what’s really going on in the home instead of simply spouting off the way they should be doing things.

Alice: Do you find it difficult to reconcile the realities of infant sleep practices among your patients with the AAP’s recommendation? Do you feel that the AAP’s stance against bedsharing puts you in a tight place?

Melissa: Sometimes an awkward place, yes. I agree with the AAP but I don’t think it sheds light on the whole story. Families are dynamic, babies are ever changing, and no two are alike. There is no possible way to control for all the factors involved here. But we should be able to come up with universal safe sleep guidelines for ALL babies, not just the ones sleeping in cribs or bassinets.

Alice: Do you believe that bedsharing can be beneficial to babies and families? Are there disadvantages to bedsharing that you think parents should be aware of?

Melissa: Yes. If it works for the families and babies seem to be thriving, absolutely. But parents need to be happy with it, not resenting every second of it. Breastfeeding moms tell me how wonderful it is and that they get more sleep that way.

The disadvantages are the inherent risk factors. I really stress to parents that bedsharing is a sleep overhaul for everyone. In order to make it the safest possible and eliminate some of these added risks they need to be willing to make some dramatic changes in their own sleep environment since baby will be there with them.

Here’s what “safe bedsharing” looks like to me:

  • a firm mattress on the floor as the sleeping surface (eliminates fall and entrapment risks)
  • baby sleeps between mom and edge of bed without anyone else in the bed (no pets, siblings, or dad…I know, sorry)
  • no maternal smoking, alcohol, or sedating medications
  • no loose bedding or comforters
  • baby is always put on his/her back to sleep
  • ideally, this is a breastfeeding baby, and if parents can put off bedsharing until 4 months of age when the risk of SIDS goes way down that is ideal too.

Alice: Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experiences with infant sleep as a pediatrician or as a parent yourself?

Melissa: We need to remember that it’s not one size fits all. We really need to take into consideration each unique baby and the sleep needs of both the parents and the baby. However, safety should always be paramount and this is where things become murky. The evidence that we have so far is stacked against bedsharing (but again, I think there are just too many factors to control for). I don’t think we’ll ever get the sleep studies that we want or need.

So the bottom line for me is: stick to the AAP sleep recommendations. Bedside bassinets are great for proximity and ease of breastfeeding. However, if you find yourself (like me) with a baby who needed constant contact and/or you are committed to bedsharing, make sure you take the necessary precautions. Know the risks and know what you can do to minimize them.

And this is where we (as pediatricians and public health advocates) can really help these families. We need to be willing to discuss the issues surrounding bedsharing beyond the standard it’s not safe, so don’t do it. A chronically sleep deprived mom and/or parent is dangerous for babies too. I think we can really have a positive impact on all babies by addressing these particular safety issues head on. After all, we are working towards the same goal…bringing up healthy and happy babies.

Thank you, Melissa, for sharing your perspective as a pediatrician and parent.

What about you, dear readers? How do you feel about the safety of bedsharing? If you bedshare, do you discuss safety with your pediatrician? Where else do you go for advice on sleep safety?

  1. I certainly empathize with the Melissa. My firstborn was a high anxiety baby and couldn’t be left alone at all. To complicate matters my back did not work after having him. I couldn’t walk on my own for about three weeks. So my hubby would get the baby at night from his crib close by and then he would be in our bed from 1:30 a.m. till my hubby’s alarm went off for work at about 5:00 a.m. As he got older he seemed to recognized that he was being moved at 5:00 a.m and started waking up and screaming loudly. As I couldn’t walk we had to keep him in bed with me till grandma got up around 8:00 a.m. He wasn’t a good sleeper for years and still occasionally has issues at 16. However, in retrospect I am glad we went with his flow because of his anxiety’s and other issues which were fully discovered by testing at about grade 5. I always slept on my back with my arm around the baby and a pillow between my husband and the baby. As a toddler he used to scare me almost to death because he would sleep in his own bed but insist on having all the blankets OVER HIS HEAD. We would check on him constantly and take the blankets off and in his sleep he pulled them back over his head. We took his blankets away and had him sleep in warmer pjs and keep the house warmer at night and he still would get out of the toddler bed and find something to put over his head – try managing that all night! And if we went out of town to the in-laws and drove back he would sleep all the way in the truck and then as soon as the truck stopped start screaming – nothing would comfort him he would scream till 6:00 a.m. Not being in bed with us not in his bassinet not his crib not in his carrier on the dryer nothing! Not walking him, not holding, rocking. Try that on for over a year! Needless to say we didn’t sleep much or go anywhere much.

    The good news we survived and when he was five we had a little girl. She was better at sleeping till she was old enough to realize she was on the other side of the make shift wall in our 22 ft long loft bedroom and then she’d talk and babble to us all night and finally get mad scream at us and we would get up and get her and everyone could sleep. So I think every situation is different and you just have to realize that as a parent and work it out.


    May 23, 2013
    • Wow, you have some incredible stories! As Melissa said, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to sleep. How could there be when we have kids that are so different?!


      May 23, 2013
  2. We found ourselves in the same predicament.
    Sleep deprivation + cranky, contact craving, sleep deprived infant = bed sharing.
    We too were adamantly against it, but knowing both of us had to return to work soon and therefore would find ourselves driving on the road and operating heavy equipment at work, we knew something had to change. We NEEDED sleep. We ended up co-sleeping for at least four straight months, then he went back in the bassinet with a few relapses into the bed. He transitioned to the crib pretty easy when we realized all we were doing was waking each other up in the same room despite all of our “if he sleeps in your bed he’s never leaving” naysayers of friends. We had a few days of sleep training around 9 months and while I boil it down to such simple terms, sleep was one of the biggest challenges and one of the deterrents that’s keeping us from planning another right now. Lol. Our pediatrician is pretty awesome and told us whatever worked for us provided we felt safe with it. I guess with 30+ years of practice under his belt he’s probably seen/heard a lot of similar stories.


    May 23, 2013
    • Glad you found some solutions that worked for you and that you had support from your pediatrician in finding them. Even the best sleepers make for plenty of sleepless nights during the first year! I think it takes us some time to forget about those challenges before we feel ready to take them on again:)


      May 23, 2013
  3. sparky011001 #

    I’m wondering if a compromise could be reached? I’d love to see a small crib designed that could be placed next to your bed, that was at the same level, so you reach through and touch/comfort the baby whenever you needed to.


    May 23, 2013
    • Yes, I think this is a great compromise! And a company called Arms Reach makes them. We used one of these for the first few months, and it worked great. On the other hand, I’ve had many commenters on my blog say that they intended to use one of these but baby wanted/needed to be in closer contact, so I don’t think it works for all families. I also think that if you’re feeding baby in bed whether intending to return her to a cosleeper or a crib, you should be prepared for the fact that you might fall asleep while feeding and have your bed set up to be safe.


      May 23, 2013
  4. I resorted to bed sharing with my oldest when I woke up multiple nights in a row sitting up on the sofa holding her. I was terrified that I would either drop her or smother her while sleeping sitting up. It finally got to the point that I was more afraid of that than of bed sharing. Bed sharing part-time bought us a few months until she was nearly sleeping through the night.

    Fast forward 2 years and I found myself expecting twins. I got the the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper since it would fit both of them (though I’ve since found that the AAP also recommends against bed sharing for twins, even before they can roll over). For the first several weeks, nights were an endless cycle of trading out the babies as they each woke up hungry. Bed sharing is the only reason I got any amount of sleep during that time. Once they started rolling over, I transitioned them into their cribs in their room but still do the part-time bed sharing as they wake up hungry.


    May 24, 2013
  5. I did not bed-share with my first because I don’t like to be touched when I sleep. Also, he did not need that level of nighttime care. I am also still not convinced of the safety of bed-sharing. I am currently having a discussion on the Lane County Friends of the Birth Center’s Facebook page about this because I have taken issue with a flyer given to expectant mothers quoting Dr. Sears’ “belief” about SIDS. They shared this article with me: Still not convinced, but I am hoping for the birth center to at least update this flyer and/or have the type of conversation outlined in your post.


    May 24, 2013
    • I have to say… I get really concerned when I see people simply disregarding the studies that indicate a risk of bedsharing with young babies – in particular people dispensing advice to families with new babies. I have read the studies, and I agree that they all have limitations, but I’m not willing to just ignore those data. I think we have to consider the possibility that there is a real concern here. Simply condemning bedsharing isn’t helpful, but neither is simply condoning it without acknowledgment that there are a pile of studies that point to this risk with young babies. That may be a risk that parents are willing to accept, and it’s possible that the risk IS always associated with other modifiable factors that simply haven’t been well-controlled for in the studies. However, having read those studies, and since we’re talking about infant deaths, I’m not at all comfortable telling parents that bedsharing with young babies isn’t risky. I wish I could, because I know that’s what everyone wants to hear, but I’m simply not comfortable with that. I do, however, know that bedsharing will happen for lots of good reasons, and I think that the overall risk is quite low if parents are careful and conscientious about it. That risk may be lower than that of severe sleep deprivation, PPD, or falling asleep with baby on a couch. I believe parents should know that there may be a risk associated with bedsharing AND the ways in which that risk can be reduced so that they can make an informed decision. Anyway, thanks for your comment. I would consider using the birthing center for my next pregnancy, and I think I would try to have the same conversation with them!


      May 24, 2013
      • I whole-hearted lay agree. Also, I highly recommend the birth center. I am on my second child with them and really love the service and care they provide. This is the only issue I have had with them. Not that I take that lightly. Thanks for another great conversation.


        May 25, 2013
  6. mt #

    Hi, I mentioned once before that I was encouraged to bedshare after I have birth (in a foreign country) and it wasn’t for me a) because I was convinced of the AAP’s reservations about it b) because I wanted to keep the marital bed as husband-and-wife space and c) because I am a really deep sleeper and feared rolling on my baby.

    My son is now 1-year-old, and we just returned from a trip to Japan during which we bedshared for the first time. We stayed in traditional Japanse inns that don’t have cribs–everyone sleeps on fresh futons on the floor. These sleeping arrangements are pretty common practice in Japan. I actually enjoyed bedsharing more than I expected. Well, except for the part requiring someone to be in a dark room with the baby at 7:30pm (luckily my parents were with us and we all took turns). Because the futons are on the ground, I didn’t fear my son rolling out of bed, and he’s sturdy enough to push himself around into more comfortable positions (i.e. out of the covers if he finds them too warm). Also, I think cuddling up next to us made sleeping in an unfamiliar place easier for him.

    We are returning to our regular sleeping arrangements at home, but I think this experience made me a little more flexible. I’d bedshare again under similar circumstances, and will be open to my son crawling in with us when he’s a little older if he’s having a particularly rough night and it’ll help him sleep (as long as it doesn’t become a habit).


    May 25, 2013
  7. I’m an evidence-based decision maker. But that evidence includes my own observations, as I am the world’s leading expert on my own children.

    With out first son we planned to have him in a co-sleeper attached to our bed, but he demostrated to us that no one was going to sleep unless he was in physical contact with me. I did my homework and felt that we were making him safe with these accommodations:
    – I used just one very small pillow under my head
    – we tucked our one blanket under the foot of the mattress to keep it at waist height
    – no drinking for mom, and if dad had a drink he slept on the couch
    – baby slept between me and the co-sleeper

    That all reads as unpleasant, but I was very warm and comfortable with my baby at my side. Nursing was so much easier. Everyone slept well. It was great and I really enjoyed it. We ran the same program with our second son and all liked it just fine then too.


    May 25, 2013
  8. Reblogged this on The Sleep Store Blog and commented:
    This is an interesting read on the recent co-sleeping debate/research, from a Blog I really respect.


    May 27, 2013
  9. I didn’t think I’d be a bedsharing parent, but I was in the hospital for a week after giving birth (pre-eclampsia) and I just felt so bad about letting my new baby sleep in the clear plastic box they provide at the hospital for the baby to sleep in. Suddenly it seemed more natural for me to bedshare with her. I just wished it was a more accepted practice, it really wasn’t discussed in my birth prep classes, nor among my family or friends. It’s almost as bad as discussing your salary or religion, it seems. I think one reason for bedsharing to be risky is this lack of discussion or preparation for bedsharing. As there are lactation consultants, I think bedsharing consultants would be useful.


    May 27, 2013
  10. Denise Easley #

    I’m a member of the Linn County Safe Sleep Task Force. This task force was initiated because of the increased deaths due to unsafe sleep practices over the past 2 years. The most common unsafe sleep practice was being in bed with a parent. We teach parents to room share not bed share. There are so many factors that make sleeping with a baby unsafe. The mom can’t be overweight, no smoking, no drugs or alcohol, mattress on the floor, no pillows or blankets. This eliminates most moms. Then you also say try to hold off for 4 months. Most moms have sleep deprivation is right away. There are just too many factors to remember. Moms that take their babies to bed with them are taking a huge risk and can they live with the guilt if their baby dies in their bed? American beds have soft mattresses, pillow tops, lots of blankets and pillows. As a NICU nurse and a safe sleep champion, we owe it to parents to teach safe sleep. We want babies to be in their parents room and not their bed. We are following the current AAP guidelines, last updated October 2011. The liability and the risk are just not worth taking.


    May 30, 2013
    • Do you have recommendations for sleep training of a newborn who just wouldn’t sleep in his bed alone at all no matter how long you are trying to sooth him? Most mothers definitely wouldn’t want to take the risk, but these recommendations just make mothers feel guilty. Most of mothers want to know how to train very young babies to sleep in their own bed when they would just cry all night desperately seeking their mothers to be close to them.


      June 1, 2013
      • maggie #

        I do kitten rescue. I am often bottle feeding a litter of abandoned kittens. There seems to be a strong correlation between full belly and sleep; a well fed kitten will sleep for 9 hours at three weeks old. A hungry kitten will cry and cry and cry…. So when my pediatrician suggested a supplimental bottle of formula to help my infant sleep, that made sense to me. He also suggested starting immediately with putting the infant in the crib and walking away; not trying to sooth. His recommendation was to let her cry for 5 minutes, and then go back in and check on the physical needs; but no talking, no playing, just pure business. I don’t know if the methods worked, or if I just was lucky; but my daughter was and is a fabulous sleeper, starting at day three of her life.


        June 7, 2013
    • KT #

      So you recommend the alternative of staying up all night with a baby who just can’t sleep flat on his or her back as per the AAP recommendation? Or the alternative of stomach sleep, whcih enables some babies to sleep better? Or perhaps the alternative of falling asleep while holding your child who can only sleep in close contact with you?

      What I’m trying to say is that you might be a safe sleep champion, but all I’m seeing you champion is safety. For some there is no sleep in your recommendations – and that is grossly unsafe. I say this as someone who has generally attempted to follow AAP guidelines for safe sleep with my challenging sleeper, which led to me falling asleep with her on my chest more times than I care to think about.


      June 6, 2013
  11. maggie #

    I was sharing this with my mother, and she had a suggestion that I haven’t heard before: Apparently I was aterrible sleeper, fussy, demanding; you name it, I put her through it. She got so frustrated with on of the other mother’s in her circle of friends that she was crying. The other mom said, let me come over at bedtime for a few nights and put your daughter to bed so you can get a break. Apparently, I was perfect for the other mom (mom remembers me being about 3 months old at the time) and after a few nights of “other mom” I was alkso perfect for my own mother. Her take on it was that sometime terrible sleep is a habit that a baby gets into, and the jolt of another adult can break that cycle. Has anyone else heard of somehting like that?


    June 14, 2013
    • This is really interesting, Maggie. I have definitely heard of this being the case with dads. Sometimes dad can step in and have a much easier time with bedtime than mom. (Actually, I’ve witnessed that in my own family. If I’m not here, bedtime is very straightforward. When I’m here, there is often an extra trip in to help Cee wind down, sing one more song, etc.) I actually discussed this with Thomas Anders, the sleep researcher who discovered self-soothing and has spent his career studying infant sleep patterns and habits. He told me that sometimes the mom-baby relationship is just a little out of balance. As mothers, we’re often so focused on the soothing, nurturing, and feeding part of the relationship, and we’re so very emotionally intertwined with the baby and her expression of emotions – all of which is really good and really important. But that can sometimes make it hard to set clear expectations around sleep, particularly if the sleep thing is stressing us out (which baby totally feels).


      June 14, 2013
  12. I really appreciate this perspective


    June 15, 2013
  13. Valerie #

    This series of questions and answers is just what I would expect from a doctor who actually goes through the struggles of motherhood! 😉 I’ve often thought something made a lot of sense theoretically, but in REALITY it’s not possible with a baby/child. Not that all things should be disregarded if they’re “hard”, but some parenting choices are done more out of necessity than preference, like co-sleeping.
    I shared my experiences with crib-sleeping as well as co-sleeping recently, and invited my readers to share theirs: I was surprised by how many co-sleeping families chimed in! I think we’ve been so scared to say we do it, that many mothers don’t realize just how many do.


    June 20, 2013
    • I appreciate that this article points out the risks of cosleeping and still recommends the AAP sleep guidelines BUT allows for the fact that sometimes following those guidelines for certain babies INCREASES risk in other areas. If I had not coslept with my son initially, there is a really high chance I would have fallen asleep HOLDING him in a chair or on the couch. In fact, it was dozing off holding him in my arms in an easy chair where he had fallen asleep nursing that I realized how I couldnt trust myself to stay awake because I was so exhausted. Seriously unsafe places! He didn’t want or tolerate “arms reach sleep.” He fell asleep ONLY if he was directly on top of me. I slept with one flat pillow under my head and a very light blanket over my legs. The slightest stir had me awake, and by 3 months I was able to transfer him to the crib. I was against cosleeping when I was pregnant, and I still would rather my space when I sleep, but in the end I realized me NOT sleeping was more dangerous to my child. If my second son decides he is also a cosleeper we will repeat, but if he is amiable to sleeping in the bassinet then by all means that is where I would prefer to put him.

      Liked by 1 person

      August 15, 2014
  14. Pippi #

    I know I am responding to an older post, and that my story is anecdotal, but I think it is worth considering. My grandson stopped breathing as an infant and was found blue and limp in the middle of the night. He was co-sleeping in a bed with his parents. He was on his back, there were no pillows or blankets that had suffocated him, and no one had rolled over on him. I think he would have been considered a SIDS case, except that my daughter woke up because he was sleeping next to her and she sensed something was wrong. The baby was revived and taken to the hospital where they did tests and could not find any reason for what had happened. He is just fine now, but I truly believe that co-sleeping is the reason he is still with us. With co-sleeping, you are hyper aware of what goes on with the infant in the night. My daughter claims that she woke up because the baby was making a funny noise in his throat, and by the time she turned on the lamp, he was blue and lifeless. I would feel so much more unsafe if she decided to put him anywhere else but next to her in the bed.


    January 11, 2015

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