Skip to content

A Letter to My 3-Month-Old: On the First Season of Your Life

Dear BabyM,

You are 3 months old, and as your mother, there is something I must confess to you: I haven’t yet cracked open your baby book. It sits neatly on my nightstand, undisturbed and unmarked, while a succession of telling objects rotate around it as the nights go by: pacifiers (mainly rejected by you), nipple cream, novels, water glasses, vitamin D drops (barely remembered by me), burp cloths, tiny nail clippers, cards of congratulations, a copy of Goodnight Moon, and a messy pile of kids’ books and scribbled papers left by your older sister. These last three months have been wonderfully full. I marvel at how much you’ve changed in such a short amount of time and know how quickly these present moments will slip into the past. I don’t want to forget them.

You were born in the cold drizzle of the Oregon winter. Trees stood leafless, like skeletons against the gray sky. On the coldest mornings, a lone hummingbird urgently probed the frozen hummingbird feeder for nectar, returning again and again. Inside, our Christmas tree twinkled. Our house was full of good smells as your grandmothers cooked us biscuits for breakfast, soup for dinner, and pie for dessert.

On the morning you were born, a nurse placed you on my chest. Your skin was gray like the sky, but it warmed to pink as your small lungs found their rhythm. You were born with a full head of dark hair, still wet, matted down on your head. You bobbed your head up and down on my chest and pushed your feet into my belly, full of instinct to find my breast. You fed with ease and gazed up at me with bright eyes.gazing with babym

From that first day, I’ve loved your eyes. We still don’t know what color they are, but they are wide, observant, and calm. Your gaze still stops me in my tracks every day. It makes me put down my phone, forget my to-do list, and sit with you a little longer.

Your first days with us were cozy and warm, sleepy and slow. You nursed and then drifted into sleep, your body going limp into mine with certain trust. I watched you sleep and felt full of gratitude.BabyM sleeping newbornWhat else can I tell you about newborn you? You sucked on your hands from your first day. You did not like to be swaddled, preferring to have your hands close to your face. You liked to sleep close to me and feed often, around the clock. When you weren’t eating or sleeping, you were alert, and usually calm. You stretched your limbs, and your eyes followed our faces and voices.

You became a part of our family. We waited a long time for you, and once you were here, it seemed like you filled a spot that was always yours. Your sister dotes on you, and she is mostly generous in sharing me with you. One of our biggest challenges has been to convince her to let you sleep, because she really wants to play with you. You also adored her from the start, turning your head towards her voice. Some of your very first smiles were for her.

Already, the season has changed. Now our world is filled with blossoms of spring: daffodils, hyacinths, and forsythia. Three hummingbirds compete for a spot at the feeder, then flit off to cherry blossoms for more nectar. The days lengthen, and the sun shines.cherry blossomsAlready, you have outgrown a drawerful of tiny outfits. Your cheeks have filled out, and your body has lengthened. Your skin has lost its translucence. You kick with happiness and wave for attention, your movements more confident and strong each day. You watch the world with awareness that you are part of it. You smile easily. You are a steady little person, not easily bothered by our barking dog or the sound of your sister’s steps thundering down the hall. You sleep for long stretches in the night and greet me in the morning with a happy grin. You open your mouth wide as if to let out a big laugh, but all that we hear is a soft coo.

BabyM tummy timeI worry that one day you’ll read this and think I wasn’t being honest – that I composed a history happier than the reality. I guess I should mention that you do cry through most of every car ride and sometimes when you’re tired. And yes, there are lots of days when I feel exhausted or overwhelmed. But these words are all true, and in fact, they feel inadequate to describe how much happiness you’ve brought to our family and how much we enjoy spending time with you. I want you to know that.

I know how quickly the time will pass. The cherry blossoms will dry out, shrivel up, and drop to the ground – or get knocked down with the spring rain. It will happen gradually, but one day we’ll suddenly realize that the blossoms are gone and the trees have fully leafed out. Just like one day you’ll be rolling, then crawling, then walking. The days will pass by like pages in a flip book, each one distinct and full, but together, a blur from one season to the next.

I’m in no hurry for this season of your infancy to pass, but there is no stopping it. In the end, what will we hold of this time? We take photos and videos, and I will write in your baby book, I promise. Still, I know the details will slip away, like petals from a tree. What will remain of your infancy? A feeling, I suppose. A sweetness, I hope, one that we can savor for years to come. And you – because the person you are now is just the beginning of the person you will become.

25 Comments
  1. So cute. 🙂

    Like

    March 31, 2015
  2. Just beautiful. This is so meaningful.

    Like

    March 31, 2015
  3. Pei-Yee #

    So lovely & a gentle reminder to be present for these quickly passing seasons in our little ones lives. Thank you for capturing this time so sweetly.

    Like

    March 31, 2015
  4. Lovely.. something all mothers should do. write letters to our young ones.

    Like

    March 31, 2015
  5. Love this sweet letter! My third daughter was born Jan 14th and I am going through all the things you are right now! (Except for the long stretches of sleep!). Baby H loves her fist, refuses the pacifier, is growing to quickly, and is surrounded by her sweet sisters who don’t want to leave her alone! This time goes so quick. We are blessed to experience it.

    Like

    April 1, 2015
    • Such a sweet time. To be fair, the long stretches of sleep are still hit or miss, and they’re a very recent development:)

      Like

      April 1, 2015
  6. Reblogged this on Healthyliving.

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  7. such a sweet mom congrats!!

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  8. Wonderful post. My LO is a little over 5 month now. It’s amazing all the changes that take place, especially the emergence of their personalities.

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  9. This is lovely. My first baby arrived on New Year’s Eve so she turned 3 months yesterday and I recognise a lot of these experiences (with added hours of inexplicable screaming) – it’s amazing their instinct to head straight to the milk!

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  10. This is very touching! The picture of you first holding them brought back memories of a little over two years ago for me when I had my daughter. There is just a certain look and feeling of love that is always portrayed so beautifully in those first pictures! Congratulations!

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  11. Clary #

    Simply, beautiful! How blessed your little ones are to have a mom with the gift of writing. Thank you for sharing your heart-felt memoir.

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  12. So poetic. Your letter brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad you are in “rose colored glasses” mode. Just wonderful!

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  13. Awww. So sweet. You make me want to do it again.

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  14. Amazing post! I really wish I had done this with all three of my babies. After my first I swore I would never forget a single detail of my birthing experience and because I took over 1,500 photos in the first three months I was so sure I wouldn’t need reminding of those precious moments. But I can honestly say they are fading…. would have loved to of done this back then xx

    Like

    April 1, 2015
  15. mt #

    What a magical time and what a beautiful boy! This post made me pull out my almost-3-year-old’s infant photos and reminisce about those early months.

    Like

    April 2, 2015
  16. So sweet. It is amazing how quickly they grow.

    Like

    April 4, 2015
  17. This is so beautiful, and honest… because I know from experience that the bad is nearly always forgotten, and you are left with the smell of their head. Precious times…. enjoy.

    Like

    April 4, 2015
  18. so beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

    April 4, 2015
  19. BEAUTIFUL! Precious memories. I wouldn’t trade motherhood for all the “riches” in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    April 8, 2015
  20. Beautiful, us mums are so incredibly lucky

    Like

    April 12, 2015
  21. Beautiful

    Like

    April 18, 2015
  22. Anya #

    So beautiful, Alice! He is precious. I still can’t believe how much you and I seem to be on parallel tracks; our second, T, is just over 3 months old now and I wrote a similar letter to herthe other day. I used the same words, “steady little person in this world” about her 🙂

    Like

    April 18, 2015
  23. maria jose #

    Beautiful!! You made me cry

    Like

    May 29, 2015

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Can Fetal Movements Predict a Baby’s Sex or Temperament? | Science of Mom

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: